If you have met me in person you know that I tend to wear traditionally girly clothing. Dresses, skirts, sweaters, headbands and the like.
I have, like, four Zuckerburg costumes. Jeans, sneakers, teeshirt, sometimes hoodies. I never wore them unless I was going to a developer conference or a user group somewhere, that's what I bought them for. I never consciously thought "Sara you are changing who you are in order to fit in," however, that was essentially what I was doing.
Once I realized what I had been doing I had conflicting emotions. On one hand I wanted to stay true to myself, on the other a girl in a dress at a software conference was going to stick out like a sore thumb.
Part of getting older for me has been getting more comfortable in my own skin. Part of maturing as a software developer has done the same for me. Sometime around the middle of last year I felt confident enough to start wearing my normal gear to developer events?
What changed about my experience? Absolutely nothing. No one treated me differently, or made me feel uncomfortable. I've had outstanding conference experiences since. It was all in my head, and I wanted to write about it in case it's in yours too.